I come from a background of upbringing and have friends that say if you cannot laugh at yourself you are in big trouble!!

I thought it was about time I put pen to paper [or more accurately finger to key pad] and did a bit of recounting of the season so far from a novices point of view. Firstly my wife and friends take great humour in reminding me that at 51 I must be the oldest novice in the paddock. No amount of telling them that just because I raced a bike 20 odd years ago, it will never make up for the differences in 2 to 4 wheel racing. But that’s another story altogether.

I am still not quite that sure how I ended up with Rory Farrells car in my garage!. I think it started from seeing a few FF1600 races on Men and Motors last year. I have to say now that my motivation to race a classic FF1600 does not come from any boyhood desire to sit in and race a single seated car, it does not come from an over full bank balance needing some release and it does not come from a huge desire to win. It comes from the fact that it looked great fun, it is great fun and the people involved are very keen and friendly. I will come back to the keen point a bit later.

To cut a long story short. I was informed by Andy Hodson about some cars for sale, I contacted Rory and bought the car without his Neil Bold engine [I reckon the engine in the car came out of an Irish builders Ford Transit pick up truck – but it goes well enough at that] It took me ages to get all the bits in place to get a licence, join all the clubs, jump through all the hoops and of course shell out all the dosh needed to get on the grid.

I thought I would try a test day at Mallory [the Wednesday before Thruxton] to get used to the car before round 1. After 6 or so laps the core plug sprung a leak, all the water poured out and cooked the engine, head gasket the lot. I bought all the gear from the guy with the race shop at Mallory and took the car to a mate with a garage where he ripped into it and rebuilt the motor ready for the weekend. I took Melanie, my wife, down to Thruxton with me for some moral support – what a mistake – firstly she did not want to come – secondly I tried to make it into a family weekend and thirdly, well no more invites.

So there I was at Thruxton thinking what could possibly go wrong? – I had never been there before – never been in the car really – 4 new tyres – very cold and wet – full of cold and to be honest a bit daunted by the whole sketch. There were blokes that looked really old winging past me sideways, and in perfect control. I was spinning like a top on regular occasions. The whole thing looked a really bad idea and if not for Andy Hodson, Paul Walton and Keith Davey providing me with a bit of support and encouragement I could have called it a day then. I started to hear the voices from the dark side. “sell everything, tell them you only did it for a joke, leave the trailer in a motorway service station for half an hour till someone steals the lot” But I gritted my teeth and put it all down to experience, thinking that everyone else must have gone through this stage.

I am not too sure where I finished in the race but I do know that I was 22 seconds a lap quicker [yes I know] in the race. I could have lapped quicker in my Kangoo van.

Off to Pembrey for round 2 and 3 [Oh I forgot to say that I also wanted to take this opportunity to race at circuits that I had never been to before] Loved Pembrey and when Andy Hodson said he was camping out over the weekend I thought if he is doing that I am sleeping in my van. I have to say that after the weekend my notion of a radical freestyle life is no longer a motivation for me and the van is not the way forward!!.

At Pembrey I hooked up with these blokes called Steve Pearce, Paul Walton and the ever helpful Robin O’Conner and of course my mentor and all things FF1600 Guru Andy Hodson. I had a great time meeting a few more of the drivers, their dad’s and of course the works team mechanics of Paul and Stuart. Steve had this Ling Shing Ping Chinese tent that cost £20 with 15 litres of petrol [never a man to spend more than needed is our Steve] I was convinced it would blow away with the 1^st gust but no, it did the job and is now on eBay. I did a bit better in the car at Pembrey having taken off the girder like springs Rory had fitted to the car [he must have the reactions of a gynaecologist on overtime to have driven the car – and off course last years results would suggest he did!] I felt the car was more drivable with softer springs and of course the expert advice of all was correct. The ‘everything is new’ nightmare started to decline a little as well. No more lost sleep thinking, is this pumped up? are those things in place? what do I do then? should this pin be in or out? am I buckled in? how do I start it? what does this do?. Corner weights, ground clearance, tappets, oil pressure, spring ratings and a few clicks here a couple of turns there. They are all very confusing, distracting but in the end very important and in some ways quite interesting.

I got to Mallory for round 4 and realised a few important things.

1. That already my tyres were knackered.

2. That I have a slow puncture in the front nearside.

3. That all the drivers are really fast. 

4. Do not go out like a bull at a gate in qualifying with new brake pads in.

5. That there is really nothing in it in terms of times. But 4 tenths of a second is like climbing a mountain to make up.

6. You need to qualify really well do get anywhere in the race.

7. Do not take any advice from Dave Malpass [only kidding, great guy really]

8. That I was starting to get used to the car a bit more – but I was also aware that I was not scaring myself yet, which means there is still a bit to go.

9. That everyone is really keen and the racing is so close up front which is great, I love it, keep it keen and keep it real guys.

10. That being punted off the track on lap two and synchronised swimming your way around Gerrards on the grass is not a good idea.

[back to2008 results and reports]